All the nonsense from years ago, faithfully reproduced and preserved for posterity. Click here for my latest stuff

Archive

Archive

Number Four – A Long Time Coming

It’s been a long time coming, but here’s the excuses: Just before Christmas I moved to a new place, and had to recover from that, then Christmas happened, then new year, then back to work, and all the while I didn’t have internet access, which was a real pain. There we go, but hopefully we’re back on track now.

This week: Evil wanking, Yoga cats, Fart rockets, Jesus, Two headed girl, Fancy pants and more!

Sites

TAKE MASTURBATION OUT OF THE DEVIL’S HAND

Ever touch yourself in a pleasurable way? Stop! Your genitals are dirty, nasty, evil, filthy parts of your body. You can be cured of the sinful practice of masturbation.


Yoga Kitty

Yoga Kitty’s goal is to present a practical, step by step guide for humans & their cats to activate their fullest potential, allowing man, woman, & feline to dwell in the ecstasy of physical, mental, & spiritual health. Pure comedy.


Silly Patent – Fart Rockets

“This invention relates generally to toy gas-fired missiles, and more particularly to a toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly in which the explosive mixture for propelling the missile is derived from colonic gas discharged by the operator of the toy.” I need these now!

Make Your Own Tombstone

Nice and simple, type in the text, hit the button and voila… your very own tombstone. Save the picture and send it to the funeral directors so they know exactly what you want.


Jesus of the Week

Although Jesus has been dead for quite some time, much like Elvis he gets used on a lot of merchandise and advertising. Have a look here to see what the lamb of god has been used to sell.


Mis-pronounced websites

Your website address is crucial, it needs to tell people about the site in a few words or less, so it’s important to get it right. Unlucky for TherapistFinder.com who by the looks of it will also find you a rapist. Read on for more wrong-uns.


Worst Website of the Week

Obsessive fan sites are probably one of the worst, weirdest, crayziest things that only the internet could produce (other than skat). Not able to pick out just one, I found this page that lists a load. Jim’s favourite – Shrine to Kevin Costner.

Videos

The Girl with Two Heads

Well, they’re conjoined twins but it doesn’t stop people pointing fingers and going “Arrgggggh!” Before watching the video, remember that each of the twins manages one side of their conjoined body, controlling her own arm and leg, and receives no sensation from the other side. Then wonder in amazement.


How to Scare Your Girlfriend

Spend weeks making your girlfriend believe she has a stalker, by sending letters, making phone calls, etc, etc, then… if you really love her… do this.


Prankster Soldiers

Sitting around in the middle of the desert doing nothing can become quite boring, so when a fellow squadie goes for a shit in a ‘porta-potty’ fun can only ensue.


Rabbit v Snake

Rumour has it that around these here parts is a mental rabbit that will go and attack anything it pleases. It pleases me more that it’s attack on a snake was captured on video, with hilarious consequences.


Ducks on Call

What would happen if someone put a duck whistle/caller/thingy onto the blowy part of an engine (I’m not that technically minded when it comes to cars)?


Prank Goes Wrong

This might be a lesson to all people who see it, don’t try and push little kids off their bikes as something like this might happen. Warning! This video is quite harsh and shows someone getting seriously injured. It made me feel sick the first time I watched it, by the tenth time I was alright and just laughing hard.

Games

FancyPants Adventure

A great flash platform with you as a stickman wearing a pair of fancy pants! Incredibly well done, put some time aside for this one.


Sobics

Walls, crayzee teletubbies, squeaks – three things you wouldn’t normally associate all together, but this is what Sobics gives you. Catch coloured blocks and throw them back to create matching coloured sections. Simple yet bloody addictive.


So there we go, I know you lot have been pining for it for the last few weeks, but now we’re back on track… until the next time I have some kind of drama.

Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. – Steve Martin

A pun is the lowest form of humor — when you don’t think of it first. – Oscar Levant

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. – John Barrymore

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of