The internet is full of some weird and wonderful shit, that’s why I’m here to help you out and find it. I sit here all day in my little room, in my underpants scouring the deepest darkest depths of the internet and bring it to you in handy bite-size portions. I know you love it, and I love it too. So, next time you click on one of these links, just picture me slaving away in my sweaty underpants bringing joy to myself, and you of course.
This week: Racist cameras, crazy telemarketers, binocular soccer, fat girls, beat boxing, pig personality tests, and more.
Sites
Racist Camera
Racism is a problem in the world, and it doesn’t help when technology starts too. Have a look at what this racist camera has to say. What next, if you photo someone who’s short “Is someone standing in a hole?”
How to Get a Friend to Sleep With You
We’ve all been there. You’ve got female friend that you want to have sex with, but she sees you as just a friend, there’s no way she’s going to go with you, and she’s got a boyfriend. Here’s a simple solution on how to get her into bed. Genius.
Telemarketer
A poor telemarketer is ruing the day he phoned this crazy bitch. He obviously sees the funny side as gets called a murderer, a son of a bitch, a life-destroyer, and a rapist. The crazy woman also threatens to have his taxes audited every year! Blimey.
The Policeman
“Interesting and accurate information about the Police is given within the limits of a relatively simple vocabulary. Even children whose reading experience is limited will be encouraged by the carefully prepared text and magnificent illustrations to find out for themselves, and at the same time gain extra reading practice.”
Believe in Destiny
I’m a bit of a romantic at heart, so when I heard this heart-warming tale of two sausage-dog owning streakers who fell in love on the internet I was gripped. Check out the story here, and make sure you watch the video, it’s genius (and rude).
Clerkdogs – Movie Finder
I like movies, and you like movies, yes you do. There are some movies that I like and when I’ve finished watching it I’d like to watch something else like it, but short of asking a buddy “Hey, do you know any movies that are similar to Memento?” where do you find that kind of info out? At Clerkdogs of course. It’s a handy site where you type in a movie title and it’ll give you a list of movies that you should enjoy too.
Videos
Binocular Soccer
What’s funnier than a bunch of guys running around a football pitch wearing stripey outfits and binoculars on their heads? Not a lot. Also, I think the host may be the guy from Battle Royale.
Girl on the Bus Hits the Roof
You’ve all seen videos of the NASA plane where it flies down really quickly and for 30 seconds everything inside is weightless… well this girl attempts to re-enact that on her school bus, successfully.
Fat Girl Rides a Mechanical Bull
This just shouldn’t be allowed, but we’re kind of glad it did as it’s funny.
Office Nerf War
If only this was socially acceptable in an office. Some guy pisses you off? Bang! Twat him in the face with a nerf gun, that’ll show him.
Fat Guy Responds to Internet Haters
Some guy obviously isn’t happy with the comments on his videos saying he’s a ‘fatass’. He gets so stressed by it he nearly has a heart-attack. It’s ok though as Vera is going to bring him some aspirin. Beware, lots of sweary stuff involved.
Cute Girl Has Amazing Beat Box Skill
Hang on just a minute! A girl? Yes, and she’s rather nifty with her mouth, as indeed all girls should be. This one, however, is special.
Games
Draw a Pig – Personality Test
Yep, you heard it right. This game can determine your personality from a picture of a pig that you draw. It sounds amazing I know, but you’ll be surprised.
Ninja or Nun
Fantastically simple, and frustrating game to play, Ninja or Nun does what it says on the tin. Find the ninja in a groups of nuns. The further you progress the more nuns there are. Harder than it looks.
Thing I Learnt this week
If the earth was represented by a grain of sand the solar system would spread out across two football fields.
