All the nonsense from years ago, faithfully reproduced and preserved for posterity. Click here for my latest stuff



Number Thirteen – Unlucky for some

Number 13, unlucky for some. Yeah, you’re all thinking it’s unlucky for you, but in fact it’s unlucky for me. It means I’m going for a half hearted attempt to get this thing back on the road. Those of you with mathematical skillzors will realise that I first started doing these nearly three years ago, and there’s 52 weeks in a year… 3 x 52 = 13. Ha! Argue with that.

This week: Handerpants, Chop Sabers, Sex Equipment, Boob Tassels, SFW Porn, and Turtle rape. Who says I don’t look after you guys. 



Underpants for your hands! What’s not to get. Quite possibly the best invention ever, these fingerless gloves are styled like y-fronts. They’re truly awesome.

Chop Sabers

Now everyone who knows me knows I love Star Wars, they also know I love Japanese food, so when a company has the amazing idea of making light saber chopsticks, you just know I’m going to love them.

Caught on the radio

An American radio station has a show called “He loves me, he loves me not” where the caller suspects a partner of cheating, and tries to catch them out. Kim swore she had “absolutely no reason” to suspect Greg had been messing around on her. “I know he loves me,” she told the DJ quite confidently. How wrong she was. 

It’s too much for Mickey

Everyone loves Mickey Mouse, the cheerful, squeaky-voiced vermin, except Mickey wasn’t always so cheerful. In his very first newspaper comic strip, back in 1930, Walt Disney thought it would be hilarious if Mickey tried to kill himself. Hahaha. True.

Sex equipment

Now, when I have sex, I don’t feel the need to invest in a special piece of equipment to aid me in the job at hand. Someone obviously did, and has invented some sort of sex chair. Try explaining the presence of this in your house to your father-in-law. (I’d like to give it a go though).

Stupid Shipping gang

Sometimes, when I get things delivered I think that they’re inappropriately packed. The box might be too big, there might be 108 layers of bubble wrap, or none at all. After seeing this site I don’t feel so hard done by anymore, here’s a collection of ridiculous packaging that people have received purchases in. 


Boob Tassels

Everyone loves boobs, especially talented boobs. This girl is very talented as she spins tassels on her nipples, in a very unconventional way. Looks like she’s got the propellor for my motorboat… blubblubblubblubblubblub.

SFW Porn

It’s porn that’s safe for work, no boobs, no fannys, just a great story. Well, it’s not a great story, but there’s a good gag at the end, and not the normal kind of gagging you associate with porn.

Office Camouflage

I can’t speak Russian, but it’s very clear that the people in this office don’t want to talk to the guy in the glasses. Their camouflage techniques are second to none.

Monkey Magic

Yes, yes, I know it’s not a monkey but a chimpanzee but that doesn’t sound so good. Anyway, watch how simple magic tricks are performed in front of this chimp and how he reacts. Very cute. 

Turtle Rape

Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve never thought of turtles being aggressive lovers, well, I’ve never thought about turtle love at all. Watch what happens when the female turtle refuses the male’s advances.

Rik Astley vs Nirvana

This. Is. Excellent. It actually works really well.


Jam Legend

Ever wanted to play Guitar Hero, but cant afford the game, or the guitar, or the console? Well, you obviously have a computer, else you wouldn’t be looking at this page now. Your prayers have been answered with Jam Legend!


If you look me in the face and tell me you don’t like blowing things up you’re a liar. You will love this frustrating game as you plant your charges in strategic places to bring down buildings just like you see the professionals do.

Thing I Learnt this week

The girl who does the voice of Amy Wong in Futurama, Lauren Tom, is Julie from Friends, the girl who Ross fell in love with whilst on a dig in China. 

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