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Spiderman 3 - Review

Spiderman 3 – Review

Whoohoo! Spiderman 3 was released yesterday, and it featured the character that every Spidey fan was been waiting for since the first movie… Venom. Everyone’s favourite Jim went to see it last night, read on to find out what he thought about the webslinger’s last adventure.

What a crock of shit.

I wish I could just leave it at that, but unfortunately I’ll have to justify my outburst. However, because I feel so strongly about it, I’m going to say it again:

What a crock of shit.

Having paid £7.35 per person to get into my local Vue cinema, then sit through over half an hour of various adverts before the movie started, I was understandably impatient to see what could be the last installment in the Spiderman series.

I’ve been a Spiderman fan since I was a kid, not hardcore (Batman was my hero of choice), but I read a lot of comics and knew his history. Therefore I knew about Venom, and was desperate to see him realised in a full-on motion picture.

Imagine if you told your mother about the Marvel universe, about the intricacies of the characters, their complicated relationships, and their genesis, then asked her to make a film about it (giving her a $260m budget) knowing she would forget the finer points of what you told her and make it all up. Welcome to Spiderman 3.

The trailers I’d seen in the lead up to the movie looked brilliant and really got me going. A word of advice, If you’ve seen all of the trailers do not go and see Spiderman 3, the trailers show all the best bits of the movie, the rest is bollocks.

The film starts off well , but suddenly grinds to a halt and moves along so slowly you feel that time has stopped, then you see something you saw in the trailer, get excited, realise that the trailer was pretty much it, and the movie gets slow again.

Flint Marko’s character is nothing like that from the comic books. He complains of being ‘unlucky’ which it would appear this Marko is. Escaping from prison we discover he was only a crook to get money to help his sick daughter. Then he gets chased into an atomic particle test site and becomes Sandman (the CG for Sandman is actually very good). We also discover that he was the one who killed Ben Parker, (what?!) albeit accidentally. The character is a sad, lonely guy, who’s just a bit misunderstood. You can’t blame the actor, he plays the part well, it’s just the wrong part.

Harry is acceptable as HobGoblin, and his fight scene with Peter is possibly the best in the movie, but you’ve probably seen it already in a trailer. Harry doesn’t really have a part in this film until the end, which is poor.

Peter finds out that Marko is the guy who killed Ben and is still at large, and he understandably gets angry. This is where the black goo steps in. The goo feeds off Peter’s aggression and slaps itself on him creating the black Spidey. There’s no indication that the goo is sentient (as it should be) nor that it’s insane, and no development of the complex relationship between Peter and the goo.

This movie is meant to be dark. Given the introduction of the symbiote, you’d think Raimi would have taken advantage, he doesn’t. Peter’s ‘dark-side’ whilst wearing the suit is in fact comedic. In one scene he prances along the street like a bad imitation of John Travolta in Grease, eyeing up girls who in-turn sneer at him. When he’s wearing the symbiote under his normal clothes Peter Parker is characterised by wearing dark clothes, flopping his fringe over his forehead a la Hitler, and is that a bit of eyeliner? Yes people, Peter turns emo.

Mary Jane is merely an annoyance in this movie. At first she’s all happy and jolly, but after being fired from her leading role in a Broadway musical (and who can blame them, her singing is terrible) she suddenly gets insanely jealous, as only a woman can, of Peter’s public success as Spiderman.

The story ham-fistedly falls along, until we get to the end where we’re finally introduced to Venom, having sat through two hours of dross.

Venom is incredibly disappointing. There’s no development of his character (there’s no time), it’s just a case of Eddie Brock being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Eddie hates Peter Parker, and the symbiote amplifies aggression. No mention of the internal conflict the symbiote has being half bonded with Peter and loving him, yet hating him for the rejection coupled with the hate Brock feels for Peter.

The script is full of one-line get outs, and clumsy coincidences, sometimes doing away with coincidence altogether just to move to the next chapter of the movie.

The camera work is awful, at times it gets so shaky it’s difficult to see what’s actually going on. The movie relies heavily on CG, although very good, it just gets too much at some stages.

A major failing is that there are too many villains, this could have been just about Sandman with HobGoblin as a subplot. Adding Venom to the mix was the selling point of the film, yet screws everything up and disappoints with his short screen time and disregard for the comic book version. It seems he was thrown in at the last minute, when the villain deserved an entire movie on his own.

All in all Raimi has taken a bunch of Marvel characters, and written a crappy story to hold them all together. The film seems rushed, and cobbled together, like he knew this would be the last Spiderman so threw in a bit of everything to close the franchise.

Your mother could have done better, with change left over.

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Interesting. Now I’m not sure whether to see it but try explaining that to my
nine year old sone. Oh well. I’ll be back to confirm or confront any of your
points soon.

Andy Duncan
Andy Duncan

Now I totally disagree with you, Jim. It’s no secret that I’m a big Marvel fan – with Spider-man being a big fave. I’ve not even seen Batman Begins or Superman Returns, out of loyalty. But despite this, I enjoyed this film. It was funny, it was action packed, it was emotional… They didn’t, however, even mention that Venom was going to be in it, in the trailers or posters. It’s all been about the two sides of Peter Parker. How he COULD have used his powers for personal gain. I know there’s no mention of the bond, or of… Read more »