Norway UFO SpiralWas Norway attacked by UFOs last night, the epicentre of a blackhole forming, or just another cock-up by the Russians? For ten minutes the strange light appeared above Norway with onlookers describing it as ‘like a big fireball that went around, with a great light around it’ and ‘a shooting star that spun […]
Today it has been reported that a 29 year old woman is going to be charged with reckless and careless driving after posting a video of herself on YouTube ploughing through a puddle of water, deliberately soaking a bunch of kids. How ridiculous is that?! Especially ridiculous when it turns out the kids actually asked to her to splash them!
There are a lot of things that get my goat, apart, of course from the obvious goat herder, one of them being people. Not just any people, more specifically old people. They walk along the street, slowing everyone down, especially me, when I need to be somewhere… then for absolutely no reason whatsoever they stop, then turn around! It’s very difficult to stop yourself from bumping into these stupid old people, it’s even more difficult to stop yourself from grabbing them by the shoulders and hurling them under a bus. Old people should have permits that only let them go out once a week. Mondays. I don’t generally go out on Mondays.
This week: Crazy classifieds, cage fighting trannies, fly art, car wanking, tesla coil star wars, avalanches and more.
It would seem Ralph Lauren aren’t quite so happy with their art department as they used to be. A recent advert that was heavily (and badly) photoshopped made it on to the interweb for all to criticise and poke fun at. Good old Ralph was a little displeased and sent nasty letters to the various sites to take it down.
There are some things a guy is always proud of. Unfortunately most of these involve huge bodily functions and are repulsive to women. Like a massive burp, a massive fart, or a massive turd. I did a great turd the other day, it was so long that it touched the bottom of the toilet before it had finished. It did a little bit of a coil, and looked like a big brown snake. The missus was not as impressed, and refused to come and have a look. Next time she does something impressive, like cook my dinner without burning it, wash my clothers without dyeing them a different colour or shrinking them, or managing to parallel park, I’m not going to give a shit. Well, I might, but it probably won’t look like a snake again. That’s a lost moment in time.
This week: Bad first dates, shark pictures, naked chicks, talented Hooters girls, Sesame Street, impressive tricks and more.
Last week we brought you a load of shit, specifically for sending through the post, this week we have a load of rubbish, rubbish that rich people buy as art. I live in London, so get to go to the galleries regularly. Some of the ‘real’ art I see actually is rubbish, so it’s a bit of a conundrum. I reckon I could do better than some of the pretentious wankers that pretend a random bunch of coloured scrawlings represents the emotional state of the human psyche whilst having a bath or something.
This week: Toy sculptors, people of Walmart, load of rubbish, boobs, paintball pop art, naked girls and more.
Sometimes I really am tempted to send shit to people, but through the post is never my preferred choice. I like to collect up some of the foulest smelling crap from the street, put it in a brown paper bag, and leave it on someone’s doorstep. I set the top of the bag on fire and ring the doorbell. The victim comes to the door, sees the bag, and the natural reaction is to stamp it out… getting smelly shit on their shoes. Plus you get to watch the whole thing from afar. Sweet.
This week: Shit in the post, bad dates, mole reading, 100 greatest youtube hits, talented vaginas and more.
Did you know I can go back in time? Well it’s true. I can do stuff back in the past and no one will ever notice. You’re reading this now, but I did it then, but not when you thought I did. Magic. Anyway, don’t read this shit, click the link and look at all the wonderful stuff I’ve found especially for you.
This week: Ikea drama antics, woman with moustaches, Ferris Bueller, exploding couches, flying men, robot hands and more.
This morning Derren Brown announced to the world that this Wednesday night he is going to predict the lottery results before they happen. Everyone’s favourite Jim had an idea, and reckons that he too can predict lottery numbers before they are drawn, using pasta and potatos.
It would appear that Google Streetview drivers think they are a law unto themselves. However, one such driver in Bradford thought he’d quickly nip down a lane that was meant for buses and taxis only, but wasn’t expecting the long arm of the law to be behind him. He also didn’t realise the whole thing would be documented on Google Maps!
